


"Clearly, you're not dead."

by abadeerly



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Real World, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Magic, Magical Antics, Vampires, semi related ficlets/oneshots/drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 05:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abadeerly/pseuds/abadeerly
Summary: “You have got to be kidding me…” Marceline grumbled, mostly to herself as she scuffed the toes of her shoes against the wooden floor. “No, of course Bonnibel Butler wouldn’t be surprised…” Then she glanced back up at her. “Hey, Bonnie? I’m like… super undead. Like, pointy teeth and thirsty for blood type of undead.”





	1. “You don’t look half bad for a dead girl.”

“You don’t look half bad for a dead girl.”

Marceline blinked her big green eyes once, twice, and then they narrowed as her eyebrows collapsed in confusion. In fact, everything about her seem to sink. Her shoulders dropped down from her jaw, her mouth fell open in a very Marceline expression of ‘are you serious right now?’. Bonnibel leaned against the door frame. “I’m sorry?” Came out of Marceline’s mouth before anything else. “Your best friend that literally _died_ in front of you is stood on your porch and you choose to what… compliment me?” Marceline’s voice was shrill and Bonnibel was sure she was going to receive _another_ noise complaint from her neighbours.

She arched her brow anyway. “Clearly, you’re not dead.” Bonnibel dead panned, looking the other woman up and down before coming to the mental conclusion that, yes, Marceline was definitely very much alive… or she was hallucinating, which wouldn’t be the first time.

“You have got to be kidding me…” Marceline grumbled, mostly to herself as she scuffed the toes of her shoes against the wooden floor. “No, of _course_ Bonnibel Butler wouldn’t be surprised…” Then she glanced back up at her. “Hey, Bonnie? I’m like… super undead. Like, pointy teeth and thirsty for blood type of undead.”

Bonnibel hummed. “Come on inside, it’s cold.” And she stepped aside to stare expectantly at Marceline who’s mouth opened once more out of disbelief. This entire situation was backwards, if she was being honest. “We can get you blood,” Bonnibel said, closing the door and leading Marceline into the living room. “How long have you been like this? Are you thirsty now?”

“No I killed a group of people before I came here. Also, I’m floating.”

“Huh, well tell me if you get that undead blood lust, okay? Sit down and I’ll make you some tea. You can still… drink tea, right?” She glanced over at Marceline, now settling down onto her sofa.

“Yes,” Marceline replied. “And I was joking, by the way.”

Bonnibel rolled her eyes. “Ever the jokester, even in death. You still take three sugars?”

“Bonnie, I _died_ three months ago. How are you so super okay with this?”

Bonnibel shrugged. “My guess is I’m sleep deprived and you’re a hallucination.” She explained. “However, I was being dead serious about getting you blood if you’re still here when I wake up.”

Marceline blinked once more. “Was that a pun?”


	2. “At least you’re living… right?”

“At least you’re living… right?” 

“I may be undead but that doesn’t mean I’m living.” Marceline grouched. Her arms were folded and everything. Bonnibel sipped her coffee and narrowed her eyes at the woman across the kitchen table. “Before you start I’m not letting you perform any kind of scientific experiment on me. Your brain can put up with not knowing _some_ things, okay?”

Bonnibel pouted. “Science can figure out magic,” She huffed into her mug. “I’d just like to know if this is _actually_ vampirism or something else entirely. It could be-,”

“Nope, no thank you. I’ve had enough people try to figure me out. I do not need my best friend hopping on that train. Not happening.”

“Technically I’m your girlfriend,” Bonnibel pointed out, extending one of her index fingers from around the mug. “Our first date was postponed.”

Marceline gave her a flat stare. “I _died_. Do I really need to keep reminding you that I’m _dead _?__ ”

“Well you’re here now,” Bonnibel shot back. “And anyway, why is me being calm about this getting to you so much? Aren’t you a little… I don’t know, spooked?”

The other woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I had a month or two to figure out my situation. Waking up in a coffin six feet under and not being able to get out gave me time to ponder, too.”

“How’d you get out?” Bonnibel asked, voice full of genuine curiosity.

Marceline shifted some more before eventually drooping in defeat. Her new found immortality obviously meant that she’d have to get used to talking about herself. “Another newbie vampire came along and cracked open my coffin in hopes of a nice meal. I don’t know what he was expecting, but an angry twenty year old blood sucker was probably not one of his top five things.” Marceline smirked faintly, brows furrowing only a fraction. “I think… I think I hurt him real bad, it’s kinda hard to remember things when you’re in that hungering state. It’s all a red blur. I know the first week was really tough, though.” And then came the most ridiculous question that either of them had asked. “Was my funeral nice?”


End file.
